


Silicone Valley

by Dragomir, Steph_Schell



Series: Bad Dragon [1]
Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: M/M, Sex Toys, Slash, Toys, and this is bertie's fault, bass is a pervert, implied sex, m/m relationship, miles is a dumbass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:30:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1476412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragomir/pseuds/Dragomir, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Schell/pseuds/Steph_Schell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people have normal vices. Not Bass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silicone Valley

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeaRyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/gifts), [ElDiablito_SF](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElDiablito_SF/gifts).



Miles regretted sharing a room with Bass at Parris Island some days. Mail day was one of them.  He knew he was in trouble when he found purple tissue paper on the floor.  Purple tissue was never a good sign in their room.  “Bass!” he called.  “Bass, where are you and I do I want to know what you’ve bought this time?”

 

Over the past three and a half years, Bass had developed interesting habits.  It did come with the territory of being young, single, and enlisted in the military.  Single Marines who lived in base housing - like he and Bass did - had a tendency towards large amounts of disposable income (for their age, at least) and no real expenses to speak of.  Most Marines Miles knew chose reasonable vices like smoking, drinking, and expensive cars.  None of them really had savings accounts to speak of either, but that wasn’t the point.

 

Then…  Then there was Bass, and his stupid site with the purple tissue paper to hide whatever he’d bought.

 

Honestly, MIles could have handled anything but that stupid sex site.  Or at least would have liked a little warning before he happened on one of Bass’ packages.

 

“I’m in here,’ Bass called.  “And it’s not bad.”

 

“It’s always bad,” Miles muttered.  He had quite a lot of proof of that.  He picked his way through the room to where Bass was sitting.  “Oh dear god, what the hell is that?”

 

“Miles, you’ve seen every single purchase I’ve made over the last three plus years. And  now you complain about something I’ve bought?” Bass rolled his eyes. “You worry me.”

 

“I try not to notice things.  But it’s really hard to ignore a day glo orange sex toy.”  Miles stared at the thing in Bass’ hands.  “I didn’t even know they came in those colors.”

 

“It’s a Franken Pour.”

 

“That does not sound like a phrase I would want associated with sex toys.”

 

Bass rolled his eyes.  “They pick random colors and make the mold with them.  So...you have day glo sex toys.”

 

“Oh that is just so wrong on so many levels.”

 

“It’s called Clayton by the way.”

 

“It has a name?”

 

“Every single one has a name, Miles,” Bass sighed.  “This one is Clayton. Would you like to learn the rest of them?”

 

“I don’t care about your freaky ass family of sex toys,” Miles retorted.  “It’s just...weird.”

 

“Want to use some?  Getting off might lighten you up a bit.”

 

“The day I’m forced to use day glo sex toys to get off will be a sad day indeed,” Miles declared.

 

Bass glared at Miles, a small pout forming on his face. “Not all of them are day glo,” he pointed out with a petulant tone in his voice.

 

“I don’t need sex toys Bass.  The real thing is much better anyway.”

 

“As if you could get off base right now anyways. Speaking of which...” Bass shot Miles a truly evil grin as he began hunting for another foot locker.

 

“Oh god, Bass, step away from the foot lockers,” Miles ordered.  “Seriously, Marine, right the hell now.”

 

“What?” Bass teased, an evil glint in his eye. “Don’t you want to meet Janine?”

 

“I don’t want to meet anything in that locker.”  Miles was not panicking.  He did not panic in front of Sebastian Monroe and his weird ass sex toys.  “Keep your shit away from me.”

 

“‘course you do. I mean, I’m the one who can get off base if I want to. You,” Bass pointed a finger at Miles, “on the other hand, are stuck here because you accidentally set a DI’s hat on fire. How, I don’t know.”

 

“You promised me we wouldn’t talk about that,” Miles snapped, sarcasm a more familiar territory for him.   “ANd...it’s none of your damn business anyway.  I still don’t need silicone to get off.”

 

“You will be singing a different tune by the time you’re no longer being punished,” Bass promised. “But just in case, you know who to ask if you need any...assistance.” His face was perfectly straight, suggesting that he was trying very hard not to laugh at his best friend.

 

Miles wasn’t fooled for even a second.  But two could play at that game.  Miles smirked at his friend.  “I told you, I prefer my assistance with a pulse.  Now if you could find someone around here who could fit that bill…”

 

“Are you asking or offering?”

 

“But Bass...I thought you only used... toys. ”  Miles made a derisive gesture towards both foot lockers. 

 

“These are for fun or when I can’t get off base, dumbass.”

 

“Here’s a tip, Bass, don’t insult people you want to have sex with.  It’s usually a turn off.”

 

“Depends on the circumstances,” Bass returned idly, picking up Clayton again. “Of course, if you weren’t boring, you would know that.”

 

“Oh, I”m boring now?  You were singing a different tune yesterday.”  Miles gave a careless shrug.  “But whatever.  IF you prefer your plastic lovers, then by all means, indulge.”

 

Bass stuck his lower lip out at Miles and pouted.  The effect was slightly ruined by Clayton.

 

“Ditch the day glo, then we talk,” Miles said, turning to walk away.

 

“If you weren’t a prude, you’d enjoy watching,” Bass sighed, kicking open the third foot locker he’d been digging through.  He put Clayton in with the rest and closed it. “Happy now, Miles?”

 

“I will pull out the whips and cuffs,” Miles warned.  He looked Bass over.  “But I feel like you’d enjoy that at this point.”

 

“Awww, you know me so well.”

 

“Well, we’ve been friends for how long.  Not to mention how long we’ve been banging.  It’d be stranger if I didn’t know what you liked in bed.”  Miles gave Bass one of his  looks.

 

“If you’re not going to ravish me, I’ll just get Clayton or Bruce out and let you suffer some more,” Bass threatened.

 

“I’m shaking,” Miles smirked.

 

Bass glared. “Bruce it is.”

  
Miles rolled his eyes.  “You need to learn to laugh at yourself more,” He said.  “Get your ass on that bed and I’ll remind you why a real dick is so much better than your toys.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is [Clayton](http://cdnassets.bad-dragon.com/images/inventorytoys/f0073faf0721315660afb65bead27a88.JPG). This is [Janine](http://bad-dragon.com/products/janine).
> 
> Don't click either link if you're under the age of eighteen.


End file.
